Jobs, lessons, songs, peoples
I’m here writing before sleeping. Just putting down some random thoughts.
Got another job today; working two while working at the local fire dept. should be difficult, but I need the money. I feel a little bad about how other people struggle with money and job hunting, while I’ve got two that are five minutes from the trailer. I BS’d my way through both interviews knowing that there could be fifty other people shooting for the same position. It’s just working at a gas station, so it doesn’t really require any higher level thinking. Still, money is money. Till payday from either job (the other is a convenience store), I’ll have to buckle down and not spend a single dime. I am almost completely broke.
However! I watched a few videos online about how to make rings from coins. That next paycheck is gonna be important for me because I’m needing a few more tools in order to begin shaping coins. I don’t personally enjoy jewelry (nor do I wear any at all), but seeing a real pretty coin-ring all buffed up and shining is really quite interesting. The whole process is simple, it just requires a bitta elbow grease and a willingness to stick with it. I figure that by giving out the first ones I’d make, I’d get people interested. They’d be practice coins to give to whoever wants them. After I’d learned all that I could, and practiced plenty, I’d start shaping fancier coins and selling them in order to cover the cost of the tools. Once I’d gotten the hang of it, I’d preshape all manner of coins and sell them online or put out an advert in town. Specific coins would require a little more cash. I’m currently needing a mandrel, a punch/die set, and a dapping set. I would have to find a hard plastic mallet and perhaps a cheap blowtorch as well, though there’s a mechanic on every corner so I’m sure I could borrow one from someone else.
So on top of a second job, working with the fire dept., taking firefighting classes with them, and learning how to make rings, I may also have been chosen to play banjo and/or drums with a local church. Being an existential nihilist (or “one a them godless heathens” as many older folks would say), this may be additionally problematic. You see, not many here are used to outsiders. It’s not as though the people are innately intolerant, no one is really; it’s to be seen as a sort of insult by some for a non-god person to enter a church without the intent adapting their particular views. How that mentality is formed is a result of deeply ingrained fear/distrust of people who are different. Let me digress slightly and go a little more into detail about my background…
From South Florida, I’m a half-puertorriqueno born in the south, who grew up with Jamaican friends, in a Haitian neighborhood, raised by two Manhattanites, surrounded by Carrib people and snow birds. I love the swamps of the everglades just as much as I love the sand on the shore. I listen to just about any kind of music (punk, folk, bachata, jamaican dancehall, breakbeat electronica). I don’t care what people think, which coming from any sort of atheist is a compliment. The people I grew up with were generally very, very progressive and so the community that I now live in is very different than from what I was raised in.
Now, I was playing banjo a few days ago at the firehouse. I had promised a few folks there that after class finished I would play them a few little dittys. In walks one of the captains and he goes and fetches himself a guitar to play with me. We play a few simple chords together with me doing a little bit of leading. We have a good old time and he asks what else I can do, so I tell him about my interest in music and my proficiency at drumming. He asks for me to play for his church group and I motion for us to move our conversation elsewhere. You see, up until this point I haven’t told anyone of my beliefs. Fortunately, he’s a very understanding guy and we talk for a few hours. It was great to be able to speak with someone here without fear of judgement (it was also a relief to be able to speak with someone I could consider to be an intellectual equal). I’ve requested that he speak with the pastors before I just go waltzing into potentially hostile territory. They seem to be alright with me playing for them, so I’m waiting on confirmation from them.
Despite all of these immediate problems with finances and obligations, it seems like people shunning me from the community for not being a baptist is what’s really got me on edge. I want to get involved with the community here, but at what cost? Coming from someone who typically delves so much deeper into things, for how long long can I reap the benefits of my integration with these people before I’m forced to remove my facade? Typically, this wouldn’t affect me in such a way, being surrounded by so many members of an infamously intolerant group, but I see these people on a daily basis. Word travels so fast, that revealing myself to these people would essentially result in a sort of social suicide.
Hot damn, I’ve got a bit on my my plate. I’ll manage just fine I’m sure, but this week will be hectic. On top of all of this, there’s two cute girls that I work with at this new job, so I am further tasked with suppressing my increasingly frustrated libido.
I’d like to end these entries with a song. This one’s by The Dillards, one of the first bluegrass bands. This recording is from The Andy Griffith Show, where the Dillard family was portrayed as “The Darlings”, with Maggie Peterson and Denver Pyle as Charlene and Briscoe Darling, respectively. It’s a beautiful song, so romantic it makes me weep a little. I wish I could’ve found a better recording: